Time passed. I got promoted, and with the new responsibilities came new working clothes that looked normal for once. I had climbed the job ladder and was now the designated driver for robberies Rarely we would rob a bank, though, usually just grocery stores and gas stations. Still, a responsible position! It was also one of the few times that I was equal to Annemarie. Soon our career paths would split, and we wouldn't even see us at work anymore. She would do top secret thievery while I would aspire to be the new right hand of the boss. And who knew, in a position where I basically run the place anyway... people have accidents, if you know what I mean. I didn't even care that our reputation with the city residents were getting worse and worse. Not that anyone said anything (they wouldn't dare), but there were whispers, and we had few friends. Really, our friends were just other criminals like us. We also were not worried about money anymore, and had actually saved up quite a bit.
It was close to my 29th Birthday when we sat down and had a long and serious talk. Well, actually it was a pretty intense argument. Annemarie was upset that we hadn't bought a new house and worked on her dream of having a child already, and I was torn between wanting to get out of this straw hut, and wanting to stay here forever so that I didn't need to tell her that I didn't want children anyway. The argument got heated pretty quickly. I practically screamed that I hate those little creatures with their dirty noses and drool and noise. That I could not handle fatherhood. She was very upset with me, and I thought for sure that our marriage was pretty much done with. Crying, she locked herself in the bedroom for an hour. Well, I don't want to bore you with to many details. Surprisingly, she later said, that I wouldn't have to take care of all the unpleasant things and that she just really really wanted a child.
I agreed to look for a new house tomorrow, so that we could start a family under the condition that I would care for her while she was pregnant, but would not be obligated to play caretaker for the brat. Believe it or not, she was the only person in the world that really meant anything to me, and I didn't want to loose her, even if it meant to make such an agreement. We made up and cuddled a bit in the living room, then went to bed excited, for the first time in many months.
I had my eye on a house just two lots down he road. It had been build 3 years ago, but the owner only lived there for a months or so, before his wife complained that she didn't like the sea air or some such nonsense and they moved back into some big city, I did not care where. Once a week a maid visited, sometimes potential buyers with the marker, but so far nobody wanted it. We sold our old furniture to our old landlord, since the new house would be have furniture already, and from what I did see, much better furniture then this old wooden hut had. The haggling with the marker wasn't too hard, I had witnessed such business many times when I was younger and knew how to manipulate her. Nevertheless we barely had enough money to afford the house, and spend the first week eating mostly instant noodles, until the next envelope of payment was handed out.
But we managed to make ends meet, and Annemarie was quite happy that there was a bedroom with a single bed. Though we trashed that bed later to make room for a crib... When I see those old photos, I always have to shudder a bit when I see those wallpapers. Not only were they ugly, but removing them was a pain in the...buttocks.
True to my word, we started trying for a baby pretty quickly. When we were both at home (which wasn't quite often these days, we had different schedules to keep) we either spend time training together, eating, or in bed. Sometimes we even combined some of this activities! Also we were busy saving up money from work and the occasionally side-job we could pull off without to much notice. Did you see those lilac windows and door frames? That really had to change. In fact, I didn't like any of the colors in this house.
We painted the door frames and window frames ourselves and had professionals do the outside of the building. Her favorite color was red, while I liked lime green, though we agreed that this would maybe be a bit too bright. We settled for this light tone of green instead.
While we spend some weeks renovating, we didn't forget to try for a baby, of course. As the roof was covered again, we started to renovate inside by tearing down the ugly wallpapers in every room and applied new ones, and then we painted, and tried for a baby again. We changed the bed-sheets finished renovating the nursery, and tried again, and again, and again...
There came the day that she could not take it anymore. We drove to the hospital and had us both checked for infertility. I was pretty relieved when I was told that everything is fine with my little boys, let me tell you that! Annemarie wasn't so lucky. After days of different testing and a lot a worried tears, she was finally told that the chances of her ever having a child naturally were pretty slim. They said something in the lines of 'chances are 1 to 10.000' if I remember correctly. Annemarie put up a stoic face, but as soon as she was outside the hospital doors, she started to break down. I hugged her tightly, party because I can't stand to see my love crying, and partly so she wouldn't see my relieved smile.
The atmosphere was pretty tense again. Annemarie was not getting younger, and some days she accused me of having waited too long, or she just screamed and raged for no appeared reason at all.
Other days, she sat in the nursery, reading, or sleeping in the rocking chair. Or, more often then not, quietly crying. I usually tried to sneak past her, since I am not a person who expects comfort from others, and I am not used to giving comfort. The few times I tried, she just pushed me away and told me to leave her alone. You could really think someone had died by the way she behaved! Well, in a way, her dreams had died.
At one point in time, I could not take it anymore. She was miserable all day, had changed her clothing and hair, looked older and lonely. It was breaking my heart to see her like this. I thought long and hard, and finally mentioned over breakfast, that we could adopt a child if she wanted to. In her depressed state she hadn't even thought about that possibility. He is happy to see her smile again, but of course she has many questions, which he can't really answer. He gives her the number of a colleague who recently adopted a brat, and left her to chat for a while. Pretty soon it was decided, adoption was the next step they would take.
Two months, a lot of paperwork and a surprise social worker visit (to check our 'living conditions') later, we finally waited for the child to arrive. Annemarie was pretty worried that our bad reputation wouldn't allow us to adopt, but since they could not prove anything, they finally had to approve our application. I passed the time quietly reading, really I was just here because my wife insisted anyway, while she was quite nervous, wringing her hands and biting her lips.
Annemarie jumped up excited "He is here!" and ran to open the door. I didn't bother to get up. The social worker was quite an unfriendly person, apparently he didn't approve of this adoption and would not even look at us.
Anne picked the boy up immediately. His name is Rupert Aurel Ackermann, and his biological parents died in an accident, so we should not get any problems in this regard. Brown eyes, black hair, the average ordinary toddler. After a last signature, the social worker left, and so did I.
Annemarie took the following months off to care for the boy around the clock. I had never seen her so happy, I think she really is predestined to be a mother. Whenever I saw her, she was with Rupert. Reading to him, talking to him, teaching him to walk, or just holding him. True to her word, I never once had to touch a dirty diaper and didn't care much for the boy overall. At least we were lucky that he already slept through the night, and we usually had the late afternoons for ourselves. Her happiness was contagious, and looking back, I can say that this were some of the best years of my life.
_____________________________________________________________
All names are taken from this random name generator.
No comments:
Post a Comment